Freedom and forgetfulness

I left work in a bit of a hurry today, not taking my usual time to pack up. I worked to the last possible moment trying to move off a pile of papers from my desk that will just reappear within the next couple of days. One of my co-workers (more of a superior really, but not directly over me, but just in general above me), will give me a ride downtown to ensure that I make my connecting buss to home. This is really greatly appreciated, especially today were I wanted to get home and get stuff done.

Well the problem herein issues. Because I was in a bit of a rush I didn’t check my usual spots for things to take with me. I almost forgot my gym bag, and even though I am not going to the gym tonight still wanted my gear to go for a jog with my dog. I dropped my lunch bag, which is just a plastic grocery bag, but it had a bowl in it. One that didn’t brake, thank you very much, but could have. And I thought I had everything. Until we stopped to pick up my co-workers son from day care and I looked in my purse for my book that I was reading and realized in sudden horror that I had forgotten it at work.

Forgotten it with my cell phone that sits on top of the book, and my evening list of things to do (that I work out while I am at work) that I use as a daily renewed bookmark. I forgot it on top of my computer tower that sits beneath my desk on my left hand side. And so while I had done my once over and checked the top of my desk for things I was forgetting I didn’t check under my desk. Now really this is excusable because it is normally the first thing I pack up when I am leaving, the first thing I think about, but today in my rush I skipped it. And thinking of it last just didn’t work in the thought process.

You know what else is really funny about the situation though, is that I debated about asking to go back, but I know that we all just wanted to get home. I also debated about catching a bus back, but we had just locked up and I don’t have a key and I didn’t know if anyone in the back did for the office either. Also going back would mean that I miss the connecting bus she was giving me the ride for to catch. So as the thoughts rush through my head I must come to terms that I am not getting the book I am reading to read on the bus home with me tonight.

What later occurred to me is that I also won’t have my cell phone with me either. Which also doubles as our main line. And honestly this doesn’t bother me too insanely much. It really doesn’t, unless of course there is an emergency or I am wondering why Darren isn’t home when he has been trying to call me to tell me he is stopping by someone’s place and will be home later than expected.. So if you are trying to get a hold of my tonight I apologize, I won’t be answering the phone until tomorrow morning at 8:30 when I get to work.

The back up plan though. I have a certain amount of freedom reading wise tonight. I can read whatever I want. I think I am going to get caught up on some short fiction visa vi sci-fi magazines I have been hording but not reading. I did a bit of this activity on the bus home because I had shoved one in my purse (bag of holding, like Mary Poppins has), just in case I finished a book and had nothing to read. I take a book everywhere with me. It’s like a security blanket. Being without reading material makes me feel edgy.

I am also not going to go and rent Juno. I really want to see this but I want to save it for a night were I can watch it with Darren. And now that I don’t have the phone for an evening I can’t receive his call (because he does call me most nights from work) and find out when he’s getting home or even if he is up for a movie. This gives me extra reading time.

I can also ignore that nasty little list of things to do. Skip right pas the chores I know I put on that list, because I am a bit foggy on the details and do the fun things that I absolutely remember I put on that list which I do remember the details. Also I really don’t like cleaning my apartment too far away from the beginning of a weekend because then I feel obliged to clean again on the weekend because things have gotten a little messy and I can’t think properly in a mess on the weekend (I know that is totally weird, because the rest of the week I spent ignoring that mess and I was just fine sanity wise). This way I can let a little more mess accumulate and feel like I really accomplished something when I attack it tomorrow night. I might do the dishes though when I return from my walk with Rory, I am definitely ignoring the floors and the laundry though.

See forgetting things is liberating. I feel free and unshackled tonight. Free to do what I want, and reform things to my own way and liking. Nothing I don’t want to do. No list telling me what I have to do. I miss the list a wee bit, because it gave me a sense of accomplishment to check things off of it, but it also made me feel bad about not finishing everything. Now no list, no feeling guilty about not looking up sock codes because it was a fun thing that I saved for last after the chores. And the chores are so time consuming and energy sucking I just didn’t have time to look up those codes. I might not do it tonight either, but I certainly won’t feel guilty about it either.

So here my darlings is a night to liberation and freedom and walking my dog. Viva la Vie!!!

P.S. Yes I considered calling a cab to take me back to go and get my stuff. I considered also whether or not that cab would bring me back downtown to catch a bus or straight out home (which would have been ridiculously expensive). I considered borrowing my mothers car once I got home to go back and get my missing items, but I might as well have caught a bus back out to that end and back an caught the later bus home because that’s how much extra time that would have all taken. I also even considered going over to my parents place to use the phone to try and reach Darren at work to ask him to go by work to see if someone will let him into the office in the front (the same someones I suspect don’t have keys for the front), to see if he can grab me my stuff. In the end all these ideas were shot down with the general idea that the world will keep spinning and I will do just fine being unconnected with my book and the rest of the world without my phone.


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