When people ask me what I do, I generally refer them to my day job. My official title is “office assistant” but it covers a lot of ground here were I am. I am good at what I do, but it doesn’t exactly leave me exited to get up in the morning.
If I told the random people who I am first meeting and striking up a conversation, when they ask what do I do, that I am an aspiring author, that I read a lot and write book reviews on a blog, they might just look at me with crazy in their eyes and the thought firmly fixed in their mind that “I hope she has other plans, because girl be a dreamer.”
I won’t deny that I am a dreamer. I think it is a key fundament of what makes me, me.
When I was younger I belted out a tune and asked my parents what they thought. In my mind I sounded like a rock star. I was told “don’t quite your day job.” Maybe they were trying to be witty and smart. Maybe they were trying to break it to me gently. But it stuck with me. And once I figured out what they meant, it held a cruel edge for me.
Why is society trained that when someone professes their dreams, we all hope that they have a practical fall back plan? Why are we discouraging? Why are we jaded?
There is this part of all of us that isn’t our day jobs. It isn’t the 9-5 daily grind. It’s our hopes and dreams. But lots of people lock those away saying it’s impossible and won’t happen. Lot’s of people don’t share them because they are scared that others may reflect their own sneaking opinions that it is all smoke and mirrors and that all they will ever truly aspire to is a job that they feel no passion towards.
How there is always that seed of doubt lacing every dream and fantasy. That one strand that holds us back from completely committing everything of ourselves to that purpose and goal. It’s a part of what possess me to clean the house first before I sit down to write. The practical part that says do the nitty gritty before you have the fun. What would you do, if you were free of those ties though?
What if we lived in a world, were we supported each other, truly supported them, without the reservations of failure locked in the back of our mind? What would that be like? Would we have the delusional American Idol star wanabes who can’t sing but their mama says they can. Or would we have people pushing the limits of what can be done, instead of being held back by what can’t.
How much different would our work force be? How much happier would we be as a society? Is it even plausible?
I started this post with the intentions of pointing about how I liked how I have re-vamped my blog. How I have found a niche were I am able to talk books all I want and I won’t bore anyone. (And anyone who is bored by it then should not be here reading my blogs. They should be off doing what makes them happy.) I wanted to say how I am able now to express that little corner of myself that previously I hadn’t quite found the right audience yet to share with. I imagine this would be something like what a book/writing club would feel like. A relief.
Thanks for being there.