So first things first, man are my blog titles BORING! I’ll work on those… Later. Or more like gradually.
And that is the point of today’s post. Learning to give yourself the space to become more awesome gradually.
When I fist started knitting (like my umpteenth time starting) I sucked, like hard core, I remember, because my friend Sylvie was over and we were watching Indiana Jones, which was her fist time (which I remember thinking how could you Not have watched Indiana Jones till now. He is a cultural icon. Someone should remove her geek cred. Though not because then that would mean mine should be revoked for not knowing about Dr. Who for so damned long, WHO WAS I? Moving on..) and she was totally clicking along at a pace I completely envied! Her needles where like instruments of the wind compared to mine.
So of course I bemoaned this fact, and she told me something rather profound, that I’m sure we all hear at various points in our life but discard anyways. Don’t worry, you’ll get there, it takes time and practice and effort.
I am of the opinion though that I want to be awesome all at once. I also have this rather large determined streak in me. It is the part of me that looks at the baby steps that I should take as a beginner throws caution to the wind and jumps up to the expert level projects. It is the part of me that will bite off more than I can chew and that when I don’t like the results will force myself to redo it so it is better, even when I could technically say that will do and people will forgive me because I am learning.
I spent months working on the fingerless gloves. And I screwed them up. I knew there where problems but had convinced myself to just keep going. In fact I had finished them off. Both of them. And in a fit of perfectionism I ripped them both out and restarted, learning
for each of the mistakes I had put into version one of them.
It wasn’t easy, but I learned. It was challenging. Maybes it was too much for a beginner. But I believe in learning as I do. Scared to knit a sock because I do t know how to turn a heal. No problem. Cast on and learn as I go. Trust that you have the ability and patience to figure this out as you go. And the ability to stop and look up more info when you need to.
My fist sewing project, major one was a cape. I didn’t let the fact that i was a newbie foo stall me. Sure it needs improvement, but honestly is you don’t start you can’t improve.
I can now knit on what I like to call autopilot. It just took time. And sometimes we need to remember this, even when bitting off more than we can chew and soldiering on because WE ARE NOT QUITTERS (I may have grown up in a household where quitting was a dirty word). You’ll get there, but it will take time.
Now I should apply this to my writing. Off to go write an obscene amount of words tonight!