Dear Jordan Bell:
Late one night on Twitter while I was supposed to be writing, because it was November and November means NaNoWriMo, I posed a question regarding what naughty books I should dive into next, admitting that so far my experience begins and ends at Fifty Shades of Grey. Luckily I was rescued and directed your way by a friend of a friend (also known as a writing partners wife). I have spent the past week and a half devouring every single book that I can find on the Internet with your name attached to it. Sadly that does not include Mia, but assuming from the Goodreads ratting you took it down for some polishing??? Those are my hopes because I am like an addict with an itch that can only be scratched by your stellar writing skills and your ability to twist my panties in knots. Seriously, you have mad skills woman!
Did I mention that I loved every single one of your books, and am sad to not have any more. I also gave all of them great reviews on Goodreads (okay I think they are great reviews).
The only thing is, that I noticed some typos along the way, and some continuity things. I didn’t mark all of them up as I went because I was a little caught up in getting to the next bit and totally skipping anything that resembled a reasonable hour to go to bed at. I would be happy to go back through and re-read them all with a closer eye to detail (I know such hardships), if you wanted those errors pointed out so you can rid them as the evil they are, and there your works could truly be the masterpieces they deserve to be.
What I’m really asking is do you want that service? I’m not asking for anything in return. Okay, maybe if you want me to read through something in the future, before you publish it to make sure all the pesky little typos are gone, I would be happy to do that in the future as well. Mostly because I’m an addict and need more. But also I understand self pub is hard.
Okay so this is something I’m considering sending the author if I wasn’t such a coward. Also right now I feel like it might be trying to hard. Not direct enough. Too Canadian, in the lets skirt around the issue and be as polite as possible about it, and say sorry even when it’s not your fault because that’s what we do. Like I feel I should be apologizing about the mistakes I found in her book. Like sorry to bother you, but there are mistakes, and I though perhaps you would want the opportunity to fix them, so sorry to be a bother and point them out to you. I LOVE your work though, and I am so sorry to bother you again, did I say how sorry I was, and how much I love your work. Like that type of Canadian.