Time to be my own Heroine

I always enjoyed Neil Gaimon’s commencement speech – Make Good Art.  I always looked at JK Rowlings story and thought, wow.  But I had never been in a place before where the bottom was looming so near.  I always thought, when I have my shit together I will have more time for writing.  As I find that things are unraveling around me more and more, I turn more and more to my writing.

It is one thing in my life that I had control over that offers me an escape and is a means to move forward.  It is not an immediate end to where we are.  It is playing the long game.  But sometimes when the short game sucks, you need to look at the long game and think, I will get past this.

So all of the uncertainty I am feeling.  All of the fear, and the panic, and the how’s?  I am using in the WIP.  I am pouring those feelings into my characters, and I am hoping it makes it a better story.  I’m hoping that it improves the emotional arch.  Because there story even started 2 years ago, is now my story.  There fear, is now my fear.  What if we loose it all?

I turn to my favourite story by Robin Hobb, her Liveship trilogy.  I think of Althea, and I think, that wasn’t the life you where expecting.  You fought for a solution that in the end didn’t come.  The ending was something else entirely, and yet, it worked out for you.  It was tough as hell, and it wasn’t what you thought.  But it was worth it right?

So as I pull up my bootstraps and look at my life turning into not the vision I had originally planned for it, I say I am Althea. I can get through this.  So what if the ending isn’t what I had originally hoped for and planned for.  It can still be a good ending.  I can still get through this journey and come out on top, just in a different way.

Time to Make Good Art.  Time to channel my inner heroine.

I will get through this.  I will forge my own ending.

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