Okay world. I feel like both I and you need a little pep talk. Mostly because I’m having a moment like this from Sarah’s Scribles:
If you are one of those people that believe that everything happens for a reason, the reason may be that the universe enjoys kicking you in the gut when you are down, to see how much shit you can take. Rally. Instead of looking at your life as a failure (or the event as a failure), change perspective, and look at it as a learning opportunity. Learn how to be stronger. Learn how to deal with the situation that you don’t like, but need to get through, because if like me you are an eternally hopeful Mother Fucker, then you too will need to say fuck it and move on from it. Find out how to move on.
That is not to say you are not allowed to feel any of the emotions you are feeling. Sad, angry, distrustful, disappointed, envious of others. Rallying forth, does not mean you don’t get to feel. You are human, and you are allowed to be hurt by this. But after you are done feeling that hurt, know that you are stronger that the situation. I’m not going to lie to you about how sucky it’s going to be trying to get yourself out of the muck. It’s going to suck. But you’re going to do it, because you know you deserve better. Figure out how to turn your feelings into fuel for moving forward, but don’t let it ruin you and those you love around you either. It’s a hard balance, and it’s worse for the disappointment of what you are going through.
Know that this is just transient. When I was younger a coworker gave me a plaque that said: this too shall pass. Knowing that eventually you will be on the other side of this, helps me in rallying forth and getting through. Sometimes that means you go into survival mode, where you can’t effect change right now, but you know given time, there will be change. You have to look at the long term goal, and forgive that the short term is not working in your favor. Figure out how to survive, and get on the other side of this.
Sometimes getting to the other side means reevaluating your situation and your goals. It means looking at the situation and figuring out if this is a long term thing, or a short term thing. If it’s short term, you move on and find something long term to focus on. If this is your long term goal and it’s not working, then regroup and find another road. Not all roads are easy. Sometimes you have to turn around and go back. This is not a retreat, this a strategic regrouping. Go back a few steps to see if you can move forward from a different point, a different avenue, a different option. If the wall is immovable, find a way to go around the wall. Dig a tunnel, climb over it, blast a fucking crater through it. Find ANOTHER route.
And lastly, figure out what your Sky is. What is the thing that belongs to you in your heart of hearts? Know this at the very core of you. Hold onto to this thing. This will be your life line through all of it. This will be your long term plan. Figure out how to always be working on your long term plan. This is what gets me through. Even when it’s my long term plan that is taking me longer than wanted. I know that eventually, I will make this happen, because I have gone through too much for it not to. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it does mean I will persevere.