When I was growing up my favourite song was The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow. Even as a child I knew the value of looking to the horizon for a better day in the future. Keep your chin up, and keep on going, it will get better.
Every year, I think this will be the year. This year will be better than the last and things will start going my way. And then something happens and I think, well their goes the good record I was hoping for. Everything is ruined. Throws back of hand against forehead and collapses on a fainting couch. Okay, so that is a bit dramatic, but looking back I can see how I have felt that way over the years.
This past year looking back it was hard. There where some major challenges. There where times where I just wanted to pull a blanket over my head and cry it out. There where times where I did exactly that. But then I also got tough. I dug deep, found my resolve, gritted my teeth, and bore it. The thing is with struggle is that we learn. It forces us to face ourselves, and become stronger, better people.
I have gone through strife in my life. I don’t wish strife upon anyone. I don’t want people to have to go through that mud, that grit, those feelings of hopelessness.
But I can also honestly look back and say, I’m stronger now. I’m better now. Did I break along he way? Yes. Did I learn how to put myself back together again? Yes!
So on the brink of a new year, I have decided, I don’t want to pitch a perfect year. I don’t have that type of control over all the circumstances. What I want, is to get through and keep on challenging myself.
Here are the things I want for the new year, that I feel are within my control despite the way the wind blows:
- Finish the Draft of Paris
- Start a Vlog
- Edit East Cost Love Story
- Start Querying for an agent
- Start Running again
- Read books from home library
- Knit from the stash
The thing I’m proudest of this past year, the thing that took the most determination. That I didn’t quiet on just because life was hard. That I used how hard life was, to push me through, to keep on going, because this was the one thing that was within my control, was my writing. I’m really proud of myself for having finished the draft of East Coast Love Story. Now I know I can do it. I put a lot of perseverance into that draft. A lot of heartache and let down, and grit and determination went into that draft. I pulled deep and kept on going. Therefore I know that even when it’s not easy, even when I feel like the wind has turned against me, I can and will always have writing. I wasn’t sure about that. I thought I always needed clear skies, and a calm sea, but now I know I can navigate my ship even through a storm.
Don’t get me wrong, I still want a perfect year. I still want clear skies, and smooth sailing. But I know that whatever is on the horizon, the sun will come out tomorrow. I have the perseverance to make it through.
I’m dammed proud of that perseverance.