This is Cowboy. This is the person that I met doing community theatre, who always had a guitar backstage, who let little kids hang all over him like a jungle gym, who had crazy facial hair for the play, and glorious long hair, and was tall and so very attractive. I knew that he was who I wanted to be with, but of course knowing that about a person and starting a relationship with them and having it work out, that’s like winning the lottery.
I won the lottery.
Cowboy is the type of person…
- Who gave me a house key to his apartment, and I spent the time I wasn’t in school or working, at his place, and that was okay.
- Who moves out with me after a year of dating and tried out a new city and a new place together.
- Who after that year, moved back to my home city because I wanted to be close to family and start a life together that involved buying a house and having kids, and we needed a support system in place for that.
- Who when I bought the first 4 Twilight books in hardcover, and only the last three came in drove me to a bookstore, to pick up the paperback so I could start the series right away. It didn’t matter that the bookstore was half an hour away, or that we would be buying the same book twice, it mattered only that I could start reading the series I had my heart set on.
- Who bought me my first laptop to write a novel on.
- Who bought me my second laptop when that first one was dying, and I hadn’t yet finished writing a full novel, but had many drafts abandoned and gone, and still believed in my writing.
- Who bought me my first iPad, and my second one, as supplemental tools to my writing craft.
- Who when I finally finished a complete draft of a project after years and years of trying out different writing projects, and I stared at him as he walked in the door after a music practice and told him I finished it, and I was having the feels, knew that what I needed most was for him to just hold me.
- Who we got our first dog together, and convinced me to get a second, and now we have such a culture around our dogs in our house, we wouldn’t know how to be without them.
- Who when making himself a peanut butter sandwich will also make me one, and bring a glass of milk even though I didn’t ask, but he knows I’ll want it.
- Who this one time when we had a fight and he was out of town working, played a song on guitar and recorded it and tagged me in it as he posted it to Facebook (not the one above, no fight to get that lovely piece of him performing).
- Who works out of town because that’s what we need to make ends meet in order to take care of the life we have created.
- Who buys the dogs all of the extra dog treats when I’m being miserly and just getting the basics.
- Who will drive me to and from Toronto (4 hour drive there, and then 4 hour drive back) so I can go to an author signing for a favourite author the day before a big interview for me, so I can sleep in the car on the way home.
- Who brings me into mosh pits, and always has my back, even when I’m threatening people twice my size for getting in my way.
- Who we bought our first vehicle, and second, and third vehicle together. Who we bought our first house together.
- Who when things get tight because the economy is hard and he’s out of a job, cleans out his music room so we can rent it to a student, to make ends meet. Who volunteers his extra space, when I said we could use mine.
- Who buys my sister LuLu lemon gym clothes for Christmas, even after I bought her Christmas presents, because he wants to buy her something too, and spoil her a little.
- Who alway makes sure we are up to date in our Disney movie collection.
- Who ran away with me and built a life with me. Who gave me the space I needed to finish growing up, and becoming the person I am. He provided a place to escape to when I needed it most. Who provided the understanding and kindness needed to find my way through.
Cowboy is the person I fell in love with 12 years ago, who while I look back at that initial love story, and I see how young and untested it was, but still had the seeds to grow into something completely amazing. Cowboy kept with me, and I with him. We went through those tests of a relationship you’re not quite sure you’ll get through until you’re faced with them, and you do, and you look back and say we’ve got this. We’ve got each other, and we’re going to be okay.
We need different words for love, that describe Love in all of it’s capacity. There is shinny new love, when you know you have the potential for greatness but you just aren’t there yet. There is love for friends that stands the years of distance and time. There is love for family in all there trials and tribulations. There is love for our pets, and watching them grow old, and knowing they are going to break your heart, and loving them more anyways regardless. And then there is the love that is forged between two people who have built a life together, and love and respect each other, and know how to work together as a team, and support each other. Who have gotten through all of it. And still come out the other side closer and stronger.
I’ve had all of these loves with Cowboy in my life.
Happy 12ish years. Here is to growing old together, and finding even more reasons to love each other.