A much needed vacation

I feel like I have a lot to post here, but don’t know how to tie it together in a coherent post.  Basically I unintentionally took a break from writing and blogging, and keeping up on social media for the month of June.  I had a friend in from out of town for the month.  I had a Cowboy home from work.  I took some vacation days from the day job.  I read a lot of romance novels.  I did some colouring.  Watched some Asian dramas, and a few American dramas.  What that really translates to is that I needed time to fill up and feel full again.  Slow down, disconnect from online, and not feel like I wasn’t doing things now or fast enough.

So here are some observations from that time off:

  1. A lot of writing advice or lists you’ll see online tell you to turn off the tv.  But I’m going to tell you that movies and tv they are stories told in a different medium.  Authors don’t just write books, they tell stories.  We are story tellers.  Why would I not want to pay witness, observe the art form from a different angle?
  2. I am a Romance Junkie.  I’ve read about 15 Romance novels in this past month.  Just tore through them.  I found a new favourite author.  I love the emotional connection of the books. Also the sex is hot too.  I can’t believe I have fought myself so long on my utter adoration of this genres.  Why am I not trying to write romance?
  3. Which leads me to… Don’t get me wrong I love my WIP Paris Above.  It’s a long time in the making.  It was founded on the idea of a romance after all, but it’s not being held together by romance.  It’s being held together by a rebellion.  It’s a thing that has been ticking about my mind as I have consumed a lot of fantasy and scifi, and dystopia.  The how to build back up after you break the system. While I’m in love with the style of writing this book takes, and I am so pleased with how this is coming out, it’s also not easy.  It’s a long drawn out process.  It takes a lot of time.
  4. Which also leads me to, this realization, do I want to lead my writing career with Paris Above?  I think the idea of it, and the execution of it are amazing.  Some of my best work yet. However, it’s a deep read/write kind of project.  It requires vast expanse of time to sink into.  I’m also the type of reader/writer who likes quick writing.  Down and dirty, about raw emotions.  First person love stories.  I’ve read some rough notes of Paris, done like that, and I was like, that’s my voice.  That’s who I am as a writer.  I guess the question is can I be both?  Can I do both the quick and dirty romance, with the heartbreaking emotions, and can I also do a world builder/world destroyer fantasy?
  5. I want the answer to the above to be yes.
  6. I’m also going to give in and write the romances.  I need them.  I have to stop fighting who I am deep down in my soul, and that is and forever will be that I am romance junky.
  7. America as a culture is fascinating and scary.  Seriously.  Being in Canada we get so much of our media from America, and I used to think that my template for life was based on the media I consumed.  When prom wasn’t the be all end all of the world, that’s when I first started to shift this perspective.  That perhaps the media I consume is not the culture I live?  I thought we where so much the same when I was younger, but the older I get the more I see that divide.  We don’t have the same gun culture, sports culture, or religious culture.  We don’t place the same emphasis on prom here.  Even the military romance novel’s I read this past month that cut my soul open, I had a hard time imagining the same in Canada.  It was so clearly an American military experience.  I appreciated getting to read about it, but I could see how our mindsets were different.  I’m finding this fascinating as I watch tv shows like Nashville, Scandal, and Friday Night Lights.
  8. That life is not a perfect set of ups or downs.  That you can both happening at the same time.  That life doesn’t just start to happen when everything is going right.  That it is often our downswings that teach us the most about ourselves.  What we do to turn things around.

It’s been a good month to be away.  I needed it.  I didn’t know I needed it though till I got to the other side of it.  At first I was still trying to squeeze in writing, because I felt I HAD to.  But the more I let it go, I feel like getting back to is, is because I WANT to.  And that right there means that it was worth the time away.

I’ll try to be more regular around these parts again.  Aiming for an every wednesday vibe for the future.

However, this is your PSA that sometimes, you need to take the time to refill, before you can poor more of yourself out there.

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